"To find simplicity, what we need is reflection, attentiveness, compassion and courage."
--David Cadman, 'A Necessary Simplicity'
I used to be the kind of person who would engage regularly in retail therapy. Not even the good kind: I wouldn't go and splurge on a great pair of shoes or some sexy lingerie. Instead, I would stop at the drive-thru because I had a bad day and I deserved it. Or I would throw a few extras in the shopping cart because I really wanted the things. At the same time, I would swear up and down that I didn't have enough money to save for the things that I really wanted. I didn't put any conscious thought into my purchases; I didn't regularly abide by my budget. If I wanted something, I bought it (unless my debit card was declined, of course).
As my thinking and life has evolved over the last several years, I've had to change my thinking. My spending habits were that of someone who had access to a bottomless trust fund. (My husband works in Special Education, I work for a non-profit. Neither will get us rich. Read: no trust fund here). I came to the understanding that we could either go get second jobs...or we could pare down our spending and get our money under control. It's our money--it was high time for us to take charge.
I don't think that I would have understood my situation quite as well as I do if I hadn't been introduced to the Dave Ramsey money management system by my good friend (we'll call her Ms. B). Dear Ms. B took me under her wing and taught me to tell my money where it went. I now have a Google Spreadsheet that allows me to manage each of my dollars as I see fit. I now have an emergency savings fund that grows every month. My husband and I came up with a definite plan for how our tax refund would be spent (for the very first time in our marriage). This is a continual learning experience--I'm by no means an expert here.
Of course, the downside to understanding y our money better is to understand that you do, in fact, have limits. If you spend $1 on one thing, you can't spend that same dollar on something else. It's gone. You've designated that one thing as being important enough to give away that money.
By being mindful about your budget and your limits, you can start to understand what your priorities are. By living in line with your priorities, you become more simple. By living in line with your budget, you become more frugal. By being both, I truly believe, you can become happier.
